Cape Cod Divorce & Mediation, P.C.
Law Office of Chantal Hayes Rice, Esq.
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                          Is Mediation Right for Us?

Most couples can mediate their divorce if they set their minds to it.  When the reality of the expense and frustration of litigation sets in, many couples resort to mediation as an alternative. Determining whether mediation will work in your case will depend on several factors.  As a preliminary matter, communication and the willingness to work together is key.  If you and your spouse are ready, willing and able to discuss the issues in your case in an amicable manner then you are good candidates for mediation.  If communication is an ongoing problem in your marriage then mediation is not out of the question, however you and your spouse must be able to work well with the mediator.  In certain cases mediation is not advised.  Every couple's situation is different so it is important to discuss your marriage with the mediator during the initial consultation.  The mediator will let you know whether the mediation will be beneficial in your case.  In general, 8 out of 10 couples will be able to mediate their divorce if they are both willing to try. 

The following comparisons should be used as a general guide.  Some couples who have traits from both categories may still be able to mediate with appropriate safeguards in place. 
          WHEN MEDIATION WILL WORK 
  • when both parties recognize that the marriage is over and they want to divorce in an amicable manner.
  • when the couple has good communication.
  • when both parties are willing to mediate.
  • when the parties are able to maintain a status quo during the divorce process.
  • when there is no restraining order in place and/or there is no history of domestic violence between the parties.
  • when the couple agrees to put aside their differences to work together.
  • when the couple wants an amicable and fair arrangement.
  • when the parties want to preserve the family relationship and minimize conflict for the sake of their children.
  • when parties want to save money.
  • when both parties recognize that a contested litigation is not in their best interest.

 

      WHEN MEDIATION IS PROBLEMATIC
  • If there is a history of domestic violence between the parties and/or a restraining order is in place
  • One spouse is known to be dominating over the other.
  • If the parties cannot agree to work together and feel they want to fight.
  • When one spouse wants to mediate and the other adamantly refuses.
  • When one spouse is blaming the other for the divorce and is unable to separate his or her feeling from working out a settlement.
  • When one or both spouses are angry and bitter against the other affecting his or her ability to cooperate
  • When there is a history of psychological, verbal or physical abuse.
  • When one party has a substance use issue and cannot be sober or clean enough to participate in mediation sessions.
  • When one party is easily manipulated by the other.

 

 
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